“I’m so gullible. I’m so damn gullible. And I’m so sick of me being gullible.” Lana Turner

Well I never thought I’d have anything in common with Ms Turner, other than our phenomenal good looks of course, but I discovered recently that she too suffered from this  this affliction, this Achilles heel, that has plagued me my whole life. For the uninitiated this curse means you believe people say what they mean, you take people at their word and never for a second doubt that what they are telling you is not the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So when I or Ms Turner hear people say something, express an opinion, we take that to mean that is how or what they feel. In truth, the truth is more often that not a lot more complicated than that. That in fact many people are constantly playing a game with the truth and make their moves accordingly. Take the game of chess, a game that is all about thinking ahead, planning the consequences of moves not yet made. Well a lot of people operate like this in their daily lives no matter the subject, from the mundane trivial minutiae to the significant important aspects or concerns. I do not even think these people consider themselves as dishonest, as telling lies rather they see what  they say as mere stategies, moves to be played in some great big game. I, and Ms Turner, on the other hand, we don’t. We believe what is said, take people at face value and boy have I paid the price for this. And by her quote, so has Ms Turner. I have made to look a fool when it turned out everyone else knew the meaning behind the words and I didn’t, I have been hurt by what was really going on in the game and I have been dismissed as naive for not understanding.  That what was really going on was this big elaborate game, a game everyone knew they were playing  and the rules they were playing it by, but me. When I was younger my brother said of me that if you looked up the word gullible in the dictionary you’d find a picture of me. I was flattered first then I laughed, only later did I question his unnervingly accurate observation. So what does it mean, what does it say about me that I trust people, that I believe people? Well I’ve paid a high price over the years for my innocence, my credulousness, and I’ve never mastered chess playing, but what I have done is learn a lot about  other people. Shakespeare exhorted us to be true to ourselves so  when  people are telling me and the rest of the world untruths, who ultimately are they being untrue to?

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